The Blame Game

Great…. Chantix, Quit-Smoking Drug, Poses Heart Risks (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/16/stop-smoking-drug-chantix-heart_n_878341.html )

So what right?  Except that I am currently on Chantix.  It’s the only thing I have ever tried that has actually worked for me.  And, it’s my second time taking it.

If you have ever tried to quit smoking, even once, you may have learned that it is easier said than done. Being different from doing anything else in life, smoking is something that is easy to start and hard to stop. That is the common characteristics of all addictions. It is undeniable that smoking is an addiction, and breaking off from an addiction is really hard.

OK, I take that back, quitting is actually very easy. I can stop for one day or two, which is not hard at all.  I succeeded in quitting for weeks once.  When I was pregnant with my daughter, I quit for eleven months.  The hard part is to not turn back. Only when you can do that can you say that you have quit smoking for good.  I have been smoking for twenty-eight years.  It’s way past the time to quit for good.

I try hard to be the most polite smoker in the world. I would never smoke in someone else’s home, or car, or in a non-smoking designated area.  I won’t smoke around children; I won’t even smoke in my own house (the one I pay the mortgage on).

Now I could run through the list of why I started to smoke, why each time I gave it up I picked it up again and so on and so forth but it’s really irrelevant isn’t it?  The bottom line is I did and this time I’m determined, more so than those other times, to put them down for good.

So I chose Chantix because when you first start it, you can continue to smoke – which absolutely appeals to a smoker of 28 years.  As the days go on and the dosage increases however, the desire to smoke starts to lessen considerably.  Around day ten or eleven, the cigarettes begin to taste really bad – doesn’t matter what brand (I tried buying others last time I did this), they start to taste like maybe a stick you’d pick up out of the yard.  Add a few more days, add a little dog shit or bear shit to that stick. Yuck.  The desire to smoke dog or bear shit?  Zero.

Now some of my readers know I am on vacation right now.  You’re probably wondering why I would choose to do this on vacation.  Well, Chantix also can give you insomnia and it definitely gives you very, VERY vivid and strange dreams.  I’ve never taken LSD or any other form of hallucinogenic but I’d have to guess that some of the dreams I’ve been having this past week would rival any ‘trip’ I’ve ever heard about.   So to me, it made perfect sense to do this while on vacation.  If I’m up half the night and tired during the day, I have no agenda, nowhere I need to be, nothing I have to do.  Hello nap.  There have been a lot of naps this vacation.  And there have been a lot less cigarettes this vacation.

When I do reach the end and when I DO quit for good (that’s assuming I don’t have a heart attack first according to the article), I vow not to be one of those reformed smokers that pounces all over every smoker I come in contact with – that’s assuming you are the polite smoker that I am of course.  Smokers are bullied.  They are bullied socially, medically and legislatively.  Here’s an example of the blame game I refer to in my title:

When a smoker gets cancer, people shrug and say “what did you expect?”  Just like when overweight people get diabetes they say the same thing.   It’s the Blame Game.  Blame the sick for causing the disease.  People behave as if smokers deserve cancer. Overweight people deserve diabetes. 

I am not denying that smoking is a cause of cancer. That does not mean smokers deserve cancer.  I am not denying that obesity is a cause of Type 2 diabetes. That does not mean overweight people deserve diabetes.  Do you see what I’m saying, what I’m getting at?  And here’s a newsflash – I have diabetes and I am not over weight – not by any stretch of the imagination.  I’m in the dead center in the weight category for my height and age, just ask my doctor.  

We all have shortcomings, we all have areas of our lives that need improvement, we all have some ‘vice’ or addiction – some are just not as easy to kick or control.  I’m trying to quit smoking.  Maybe you’re trying to get more exercise or maybe you’re trying to keep your home tidier, do more laundry more often.  Maybe you’re trying to conquer a fear of heights or spiders.  We are all just about always ‘trying’ to do something aren’t we?  Maybe you too are trying to quit smoking?

Take heart my friend if you are, I know what you’re up against.  

Oh, and if I try to bum a cigarette off you, don’t blame me for wanting it and asking, just kindly tell me no.